The Pink Mic: On Sexism in Churches

I recently returned to my home church and attended Sunday Service. Since its inception, my church has had an unwritten rule that women could not be part of the worship team. Only the menfolk – young and old – could sing on stage. The reasons are varied and sketchy – vague references and interpretations about how women must “remain silent” in church, flimsy excuses about how practice sessions are in the evening and it is difficult for most women to come for them (no mention about the fact that the women cannot make it either because of lack of safe transport in an already oppressive society, or because they are doing the dishes of the very men who CAN make it to practice sessions). Despite having a congregation that involves women working at the top of their fields in the outside world, my church stubbornly and almost desperately tries to live in the past, maintain a status quo that is based on silencing half of its believers. This extends to having women in the committee, women in leadership positions in the church and women speaking in general body meetings. 

In the past two years, a couple of us among the youth have tried our best to change the situation. It was a slow, thankless, frustrating job and we got zero returns for it. There was talk of including women in the worship team one week but it died down almost immediately (inclusion in the church committee was unthinkable!). It must also be mentioned that the women in a church who for years had been conditioned to stay silent and in the background did not jump at the prospect of change. They had been taught to “stay in their place” and so the elders found an easy excuse – the women aren’t as interested in this project as you say. By the time I left home, I was worn out and crushed, I had given up on any hope of change. 

Imagine the stab of joy that went through my heart when I went to church this time and saw a mic next to my friend. She wasn’t on stage, she wouldn’t be seen – but there was a mic! It was more than we had ever had. I sat myself down next to her, feeling elated at this miniscule achievement. Little did I know that my momentary high was going to turn into the lowest of lows. The music began. The men onstage roared ahead, I strained to catch my talented friend’s voice on the speakers – and heard nothing. I shook my head and tried again. I stopped singing myself and concentrated on the speakers alone. To my left, I could hear her singing as loud as she could – but still nothing on the speakers. I turned around to look at the guy at the controls thrice and was ignored. My heart fell into the pit of my stomach. The singing ended in a while and she put down the mic. It lay there on the floor between us, taunting us, a reminder of the futility of our attempts, of our “proper place”. A pink mic – a token given to a woman to hide the fact that she would never be heard. 

Sexism is deep-rooted in many churches – not just mine. Using interpretations of Bible verses out of context, people justify the inferiority of women. They trace it back to the sin of Eve (which was also the sin of Adam, but of course that is conveniently forgotten) – the remainder of a blame game that began in Eden. A sin that God had promised would be reconciled when Jesus came and won victory over Satan – a sin that God has forgiven through His Son, but the church still staunchly, grudgingly, stubbornly holds on to. This attitude is reinforced and perpetuated in a variety of ways – casually, benevolently, by imposing special control on women’s bodies that men seem to be free of – but the worst for me is when it is mentioned in passing, jokingly, laughed off – raising a generation of entitled men, and women who believe God loves them less. 

Nothing irks me more than the casual sexism of some pentecostal pastors and the stifled laughter of the aunties who egg them on. A joke here, an anecdote there – in which the “ammamma” (aunty) of the household invariably turns out to be the villain, a true descendant of her foremother Eve who led Man to sin. The veracity of most of these anecdotes (which are intended to be didactic and humorous) is dubious but that’s a different story altogether. I squirm every time they make a casual remark linking women and stupidity, women and frivolity, women and shallowness – as if it is a given that women will always mess up. They use preaching to subtly reinforce stereotypes and gender roles. The number of times I’ve heard pastors at weddings use the story of the benevolent husband who dismisses the strand of hair in the dish his wife has cooked! It is supposed to be some act of great charity on the part of the husband. After all the labour put into the cooking, this is what it comes down to. Be glad your husband didn’t hit you for the hair that accidentally fell in. Why don’t you make your own hairless food? 

They ruthlessly make fun of female Bible characters. Sarah laughed. Lot’s wife turned. Eve ate the fruit. Sapphira lied. Salome asked for James and John to be seated in prestigious positions in heaven. These are only some of the stock characters and incidents that I’ve noticed male pastors pick on to illustrate the inevitable incompetence of women. Jacob was a trickster, but no one generalises it to say all men are tricksters. They might be preaching about something else altogether, but they will sacrifice everything to go on a slight deviation that will make a blanket statement about women in general. Because they know they will elicit titters of laughter from the audience. Many women are complicit in this attitude. Every time they laugh at a joke that depreciates their value, they encourage the sexism, they accept the wrongful accusations, they teach their daughters that they really are the shallow beings the men preach they are. While half of us grit our teeth in forced silence, some laugh politely, some giggle. I want to sink into the earth. 

As I write all this, I become increasingly aware of the fact that this is not an isolated phenomenon. It happens at the workplace, in classrooms, on the streets, in our homes, on television and film, in political and public arenas. Suddenly you realize, the church has become a microcosm of the society outside. It’s not holier, not safer, not more accepting, not empowering – instead of following the injunction to “..not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind…” (Romans 12:2), we are doing the exact opposite – we are recreating the very flaws of the world outside, even making it worse.

The most terrible part of all this is how the Bible is used to justify oppression. Can the Bible be used to justify wrongful acts? Sure, for decades, it was used to justify slavery and apartheid. Check out the gospels for the scenes of Jesus’ temptation where the devil himself quotes Scripture to achieve his own ends. Misquoting specific verses that were addressed by Paul to specific churches in very specific situations, churches today have managed to convince women that they are second-class citizens in the church. That not even in the presence of their Creator will they find refuge from the systemic oppression they face everyday.  Here are some of the verses you ignore: for every time you command a woman to be silent, remember how Jesus said if we remain silent, the stones will cry out (Luke 19:40); for every time you try to reinforce gender roles by hinting that a woman’s place is in the kitchen, remember that Jesus said Mary who had chosen to sit at his feet, and not Martha, had chosen the good part – and only this one thing was necessary ( Luke 10:42); for every time you ignore/condone domestic violence remember God doesn’t just hate divorce but also the man who covers himself in violence (Malachi 2:16), for every time you try to convince a woman that she is created inferior to you, remember she is made as much in God’s image as you are – not more and certainly not less (Genesis 1:27); every time you try to give precedence to a man in church even when a deserving woman candidate is present, remember, “There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.” (Galatians 3:28). And finally, if you forbid a woman from preaching or use the outside world’s attitude to justify your action (“people won’t listen to a woman so preaching won’t be as effective” etc.), remember what Jesus did – He entrusted the central truth of the Gospel, the truth of his resurrection to a woman – in a world and age where a woman’s testimony was worth nothing, He chose Mary Magdalene to be the first bearer of the truth of His resurrection – first to his male disciples, and then to Judea, Samaria and to the rest of the world. And if He cannot convince you, I must admit that neither can I.

When I moved to a new city and for the first time had the freedom to choose my own church, I took the time to talk to a couple of my friends about it. One of them advised me to make sure that the core theological beliefs of the church were in place, the rest would need some adjustment on our part anyway – no church is perfect,  precisely because they are composed of imperfect people like you and me. It was sound advice and I thought about it later. Then suddenly I realized – to any man, the treatment of women in the church would not be a core theological issue. It is only mentioned in a few places in the Bible and seems to have nothing directly to do with salvation – it is merely a matter of church conduct. I know my dad thinks the same. But for me, as a woman, it IS a core issue directly related to my salvation and my position as a daughter of God. If I was bought with the same precious blood of Jesus that you are, why should I not praise Him just as loudly (if not louder) as you do? If I am made in God’s image as much as you are, why must I be hidden away? If He loves me as much as He loves you, why must I be secondary in my Father’s presence?

The pink mic is only symbolic of the larger oppressive and discriminatory practices we consciously or unconsciously engage in. It was a pink mic in my church back home, it might be something else in yours. It might be a passing joke to you, but if it is a matter that causes your sister in Christ to doubt her identity in God, it is no laughing matter.